What the hell is middle age, anyway? Like “global warming”, “new world order”, and “toxic assets”, “middle age” is a phrase just about everyone throws around without having any really solid idea of exactly what they’re talking about … the term is broad, sweeping, and most of all, vague.
For the last five years or so, my personal definition of “middle aged” has been “anyone who I could have conceiveably gone to high school with”, though I also apply variations like “anyone who has as much gray hair as I do” or “anyone who is retired but still looks good”, or “anyone whose age falls somewhere between me and my mother”. However in the spirit of scientific accuracy I just did a bit of research, and I’m not sure I’m glad I bothered.
Here’s what Wikipedia (the ultimate authority for everyone who just routinely clicks the first link on a Google search) says:
“Middle age is the period of life beyond young adulthood but before the onset of old age. Various attempts have been made to define this age, which is around the third quarter of the average life span of human beings.”
OK, I’ll buy that. But I have a real bone (a 57-year-old bone, to be specific) to pick with the US Census, which sets the limits of middle age as including both the categories 35 to 44 and 45 to 54. Huh?! According to that definition those of us born in the early 1950s are not only completely through middle age, we’re well into …. what?! Old age? the geriatric years? Being bona fide elderly?
I’m much more inclined to go with the late Erik Erikson (the developmental psychologist who came up with the phrase “identity crisis”) – for one thing, he called it “middle adulthood” which sounds much better, and he said it ranged from ages 40 to 65. That’s more like it.
But back to my beef with the US Census. Not only do I object to 54 being the gateway to old age, I have a big problem with calling someone “middle aged” at 35. C’mon. From where I’m standing (which is right on the precipice of 58), the entire decade of the thirties qualifies as unimpeachably “young”. Adult for sure, but young adult. Just getting into being an adult. The lower end of chronological adulthood.
But buying into middle age seems to be an insidious trend among the 30-somethings, many of whom are proclaiming any and all adult difficulties to be “part of my midlife crisis”. I’m not disputing the fact that they may be having crises – as I recall, most of life in the 30s was bouncing from one crisis to another – but they’re not midlife crises, unless they all plan to die at 70. Most of the crises of the 30s have to do with the transition from being a kid to being an adult, not the true midlife shift from being an adult to being a certifiably old guy. If they need a way to proclaim their situation, let ‘em come up with their own crisis state.
But back to the Census. According to ther CIA World Factbook (often listed right under Wikipedia in a Google search and therefore one of my favorite resources), the life expectancy of a woman in the US is a comfortable 80.97. Using the concept that middle age is the third quarter of the life span, I still have a year and several months of it left. However since checking out the CIA’s nifty chart, I’m seriously considering a move to Macau, where life expectancy for a woman is 87.45 and I’d still be middle aged at 65! Now that’s a deal.
